Being a coward.

Today I watched a video from Viddsee entitled The Deer In Me. It was about an actress and her insecurities as one.

I guess what I really liked about it was how simple everything was; no fancy complicated storyline or heavy plot twists, just a plain and simple problem that people usually have.

I remembered a lot while watching the video, and after realizing that Asuka is right, now I wonder what each of my friends are scared of. I’ve always wanted to let them know how scared I am of losing people, and I guess now I need to think about them.

It also hit me how right Goro was when he referred to the Sika Deers.

For some reason, they stop and look back. That’s when they get killed.

And just like Asuka, I want to promise myself that I too would stop looking back. I would stop hating. I would stop overthinking. I will accept the past. I will try my very best to learn this. But for now, I’m just certain that I won’t look back anymore.

I’m scared of things, and I don’t need to deny it. I just need to accept it.

Money. Cars. Obsession. Adulthood. Future Independence. (July 7 2013)

I’m really getting obsessed with upgrading my car, from small accessories to saving up to big ones in the future. If this is a good or bad thing, I don’t know (as of now, at the least).

But if I do continue this, I know that I’d want my car to pay me back in some way. If it means joining car shows (yeah I’m that ambitious, nothing wrong with that :D), I will.

My personal financial management’s getting more complicated, but I like it. I’m learning from it by experience, which teaches me how to adjust and change styles of spending and saving. 

I can honestly feel the “adulthood” creeping in. I wonder how I’d learn how to budget my own money when I live independently in the future. Pretty overwhelming when I think about it.